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COVID-19 Quarantine—Day 1?
Mar. 15th, 2020 08:41 pmI'm journaling, mostly as a form of stress reduction. I'm posting it here just because.
3/15/2020
COVID-19 Quarantine—Day 1? (I mean, we haven't missed anything yet, it should just be a normal weekend.)
I had a complete meltdown yesterday. There’s so much to be scared of and so much uncertainty and I feel like I’m the only one doing the worrying or planning. We haven’t even really started the quarantine and I’m already not sure how I’m going to do this. I’ve had a headache and digestive issues for like a week and I’m pretty sure its all stress.
Today the officials seem to have finally figured out that this isn’t 2 or 3 weeks—we’re in it for the long haul. I’ve been predicting that for a week. CDC recommends size limits on gathering (max 50) for 8 weeks. I’m betting it will actually be longer. In Santa Clara County, schools are all closed, gatherings of more than 35 people are banned, senior citizens and those with underlying health issues are recommended to not leave their houses. The grocery stores are super picked over—it looks post-apocalyptic. And what’s with the toilet paper thing?
Today, we’ve been inside almost all day. It has been raining, which doesn’t help. Mark and Will tried to go out this morning but came back after about 10 minutes because of the rain. We walked for about 20 minutes in the afternoon. Other than that, Will has mostly watched iPad. Trying to homeschool starts tomorrow; I still have no idea what I’m doing really. Will is super grumpy and keeps touching things even (possibly especially) when I tell him not to. Its super frustrating. I also need to figure out how to get him enough physical activity while “social distancing” because we are all going to lose our minds otherwise.
I’m scared that one of us will get it. I’m scared that it will be worse than they say. I’m scared that it will be a bad form—that someone will end up hospitalized or with permanent damage. I’m scared that I might die. Or Mark. I’m not too worried about Will—I’m pretty sure he’ll just be miserable. I’m scared that my folks might get it. Or worse yet, Maga (my grandmother—the grandma name significantly predates the unfortunate political movement). She’s almost 92 and might not survive it. I’m scared that people I know are going to die. They talk about slowing it down, controlling it. But this whole plan depends on a working vaccine in a short period of time and I’m dubious. What are we going to do—quarantine the whole world for years? That’s not really practical. Fast motion disasters suck. But right now, I kind of think that slow motion ones suck more.
In sort of unrelated stress, my uncle is in the hospital in Portland with an infection that they can’t find the source of. He’s currently undergoing chemo for pancreatic cancer (which was actually working super well—up until this it was looking like they might actually get it into remission after surgery). And in another couple of weeks, he’s going to be a triage casualty. They’re not going to give a bed to a 60+ year old man with pancreatic cancer when the hospital is already overloaded. Which hardly matters, because how the fuck are they going to do his surgery in an overloaded hospital without him catching COVID (and dying of that). The whole thing sucks and everyone up there is being stupidly optimistic every time we talk to them.
I’m supposed to go grocery shopping tomorrow morning. I don’t want to leave it until we actually NEED stuff because of what I’m hearing from people. I hope I can find what I need.
3/15/2020
COVID-19 Quarantine—Day 1? (I mean, we haven't missed anything yet, it should just be a normal weekend.)
I had a complete meltdown yesterday. There’s so much to be scared of and so much uncertainty and I feel like I’m the only one doing the worrying or planning. We haven’t even really started the quarantine and I’m already not sure how I’m going to do this. I’ve had a headache and digestive issues for like a week and I’m pretty sure its all stress.
Today the officials seem to have finally figured out that this isn’t 2 or 3 weeks—we’re in it for the long haul. I’ve been predicting that for a week. CDC recommends size limits on gathering (max 50) for 8 weeks. I’m betting it will actually be longer. In Santa Clara County, schools are all closed, gatherings of more than 35 people are banned, senior citizens and those with underlying health issues are recommended to not leave their houses. The grocery stores are super picked over—it looks post-apocalyptic. And what’s with the toilet paper thing?
Today, we’ve been inside almost all day. It has been raining, which doesn’t help. Mark and Will tried to go out this morning but came back after about 10 minutes because of the rain. We walked for about 20 minutes in the afternoon. Other than that, Will has mostly watched iPad. Trying to homeschool starts tomorrow; I still have no idea what I’m doing really. Will is super grumpy and keeps touching things even (possibly especially) when I tell him not to. Its super frustrating. I also need to figure out how to get him enough physical activity while “social distancing” because we are all going to lose our minds otherwise.
I’m scared that one of us will get it. I’m scared that it will be worse than they say. I’m scared that it will be a bad form—that someone will end up hospitalized or with permanent damage. I’m scared that I might die. Or Mark. I’m not too worried about Will—I’m pretty sure he’ll just be miserable. I’m scared that my folks might get it. Or worse yet, Maga (my grandmother—the grandma name significantly predates the unfortunate political movement). She’s almost 92 and might not survive it. I’m scared that people I know are going to die. They talk about slowing it down, controlling it. But this whole plan depends on a working vaccine in a short period of time and I’m dubious. What are we going to do—quarantine the whole world for years? That’s not really practical. Fast motion disasters suck. But right now, I kind of think that slow motion ones suck more.
In sort of unrelated stress, my uncle is in the hospital in Portland with an infection that they can’t find the source of. He’s currently undergoing chemo for pancreatic cancer (which was actually working super well—up until this it was looking like they might actually get it into remission after surgery). And in another couple of weeks, he’s going to be a triage casualty. They’re not going to give a bed to a 60+ year old man with pancreatic cancer when the hospital is already overloaded. Which hardly matters, because how the fuck are they going to do his surgery in an overloaded hospital without him catching COVID (and dying of that). The whole thing sucks and everyone up there is being stupidly optimistic every time we talk to them.
I’m supposed to go grocery shopping tomorrow morning. I don’t want to leave it until we actually NEED stuff because of what I’m hearing from people. I hope I can find what I need.
